Milk is my Sanity

Milk is my sanity. Does that sound weird? Really it's not.
In addition to 16 credit hours, endless laundry, grocery shopping, a time-consuming calling, riding lessons and of course, socializing, I also work part time at the BYU Creamery on Ninth. While I love my 9am-12:30 shift which means that I don't have to give up my precious evenings, there is a catch: Jacki and Jason. The double Js are the general managers of the Creamery and therefore it is in their job description to make my life miserable. Maybe it's because he's a full grown man who wears and apron in his profession 5 days a week, but Jason is quite possibly one of the grumpiest people I've ever met. With his stupid cell phone attached to his ear talking about who knows what, I catch him sneaking around drink coolers and popping out of the isles trying to catch me not doing my job. He is always staring over in the direction of my co-worker and I to ensure that he is getting his ridiculous $7.35 an hour out of us by keeping us busy doing menial chores and subsequently ignoring customers because heaven forbid there is a 60 second lull and we don't leave our registers to sanitize the shopping cart handles for the 100th time that morning. One day I even resorted to scrubbing and sanitizing each one of the shopping baskets just to keep myself busy and avoid his beady little eyes. In addition, there is no where for employees to park their cars during the day so I resorted to trying to hide my car in the Creamery's 30-minute parking lot. Jason, being the annoying busy-body he is, takes to checking the mostly empty lot every half hour to ensure that no hooligan gets away with parking in there longer than 32 minutes. The 30 minute rule is not enforced unless Jason takes it upon himself to call the University Police and have them come ticket the cars, which he was gracious enough to do last Thursday while I was parked in the lot. So after a frustrating hour of stupid customers, facing shelves and endlessly sanitizing every surface imaginable in the store, I walk out to fine a friendly bright green envelop on the hood of my car with a $20.00 parking ticket enclosed: thats about how much I made working that day. One day I'm going to kidnap Jason's precious cell phone, smash it into tiny pieces, pull that giant stick out of his butt and take away his apron and see how powerful he thinks he is.
Milk is the only way I survive. Every so often, it is necessary to check the status of the milk cooler and see if more milk needs to be stocked. While the fridge is a bit chilly, the best part about it is that it's the one place you can be alone, away from the customers, and away from Jason's prying eyes. Without stocking milk I would be utterly lost. I try to take my time while I'm in there, eating up minutes on the clock and singing quietly to myself. The sound of the fans in the cooler drowns everything else out and I can take 5 minutes to collect myself and clear my thoughts. Otherwise I might have punched Jason in the face already, miserable little man. So all I have to say is thank goodness for milk.

W????

 So sometimes school sucks. Lets face it. Yeah its awesome that we have a chance to learn and prepare for our future and achieve our dreams and blah blah blah but the journey isn't always fun. Between the tests, the late-night cramming, the endless papers and the stupid busywork for your Spanish class that doesn't help you in any way (hate hate), where's the fun? I'm not totally sure...
However, sometimes life is fun. And sometimes its just plain awesome and it makes you laugh. Thankfully this is one of those times. Its moments like this where I realize that yes, I have chosen the right major, and more specifically today, I have chosen the correct minor. For all of you out there that think editing papers is truly a craft of the devil, think again because the editing minor is one of the greatest things of my life. My homework for tomorrow is to define a particular word of slang, jargon, or shoptalk. And because slang pops up in so many venues, it doesn't even have to be a slang thats in wide usage and could be something you made up. If you speak it, write it, or use it and is has a specific purpose, then its a word. Isn't language awesome? I'll answer that one for you- it is! So for my Modern American Usage assignment, I wrote an entry for a slang dictionary on the term "W", so coined a little over a year ago by some lovely roommates. Now since its full-blown usage crops up in my daily conversation I felt it was legitimate enough to use for my homework. So here is my entry for my assignment :

W- Pronounced “double-you,” it is an abbreviation for the word “what” even though it has three syllables compared to the one syllable “what.” It originated in 2008 in Jefferson apartment 18 at Liberty Square in Provo Utah. The girls living in the apartment, Alli Judd Whitezel, Paige Irwin, Lindsay Brown, Annie O’Brien, Paige Guthrie and Alyssa Grant, first used it as an abbreviation in texting, and it finally crept into vocal conversation as well as texting and instant messaging. After “W” made its way into spoken conversation, it began to take on a slightly broader meaning than simply a replacement for the word “what.” It is usually used with a great deal of upward inflection to express incredulity, disbelief or outrage. It could perhaps be expaned to even mean something similar to the expression “What the heck!” There was a movement in late 2009 initiated by Paige Irwin, a founder and early proponent of the usage of “W,” to abbreviate the form even further in spoken conversation to just “doub” as an attempt perhaps to make the abbreviation vocally the same number of syllables as the word “what.” This act was vehemently shut down by other founders of the slang “W,” namely Annie O’Brien and Lindsay Brown, as they felt any further abbreviation of an abbreviation was pure craziness. In addition, the added inflection and extra stress on the syllables of “W” that help to give the term its unique meaning would be utterly lost by further abbreviation. The term is generally only used between the former members of Jefferson apartment 18 and other close acquaintances that have witnessed  “W” in action and are properly educated as to its proper usage and inflection. The users of “W” are careful not to use it in more formal settings or around those who are not familiar with its existence as it would inevitably just lead to confusion. However, all friends of the founding members are welcomed and encouraged to use “W” so long as it is done appropriately. 

Examples: 

“Ok, W? Did you see how short her skirt was on Sunday? It was definitely not knee length...”

• Discussing an event someone witnessed with a roommate

“W! I can’t believe he never called me back last night!”

- Expressing incredulity and a degree of annoyance at a stupid boy’s thoughtlessness

So it's nothing earth shattering, but it made me giggle. I get to turn this in tomorrow to my English Language professor and get credit for it. It's a small moment, a small victory, where what I have to do for is actually plain fun, and even a little silly. Hurray for slang, hurray for editing, and hurray for W!!